whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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