im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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