Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
