idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
