This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
