okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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