Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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