I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
