i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
