i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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