Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
