Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
