The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
