After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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