I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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