I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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