It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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