How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
