Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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