marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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