Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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