My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
