It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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