This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
