Sponge bath it is.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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