Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
