I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
