I hate your face
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
