Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
