Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
