i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
