Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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