just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
