...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
