Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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