i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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