I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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