how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize