there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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