Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
