She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
