dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
