I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
