dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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