white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
