K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
