it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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