Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
