You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
