we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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