her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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