first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
that is very illegal...i love you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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