I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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