He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
