We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
