i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize