i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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