This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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