How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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