Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
